How do you spend Christmas in a long-distance relationship?

Plan a few shared moments ahead of time: open gifts together on video, send a letter to open that morning, and schedule a longer call once family plans wind down. Agree on the times beforehand so neither of you is left waiting.

Should long-distance couples spend the holidays together?

If you can afford the time and travel, visiting over the holidays can be special, but it's not a test of the relationship. Many couples alternate: one year together, one year with family, with a visit booked for January.

How do you handle time zones on New Year's Eve?

Celebrate twice. Call at your midnight and again at your partner's midnight. Check both times with a time zone calculator before you make plans.

When should I mail a holiday gift to my long-distance partner?

Order and ship in November if you can, and earlier for international parcels, which can be delayed by customs. Send it to wherever your partner will spend the holidays.

What if my partner is too busy with family to call?

Agree on a short check-in and a longer call, and let the busier person choose the window. Ask for a quick text if plans run late. If it keeps happening, talk about it after the holidays rather than in the moment.

Spending the Holidays Apart: A Long-Distance Couple's Guide to Christmas, Thanksgiving & New Year's

The group chat is already talking about who’s hosting Thanksgiving. Your partner’s family has a Christmas Eve tradition that runs until midnight. You’re both working out whether a visit fits anywhere in December, and neither of you has said out loud what happens if it doesn’t.

Holidays are hard in a long-distance relationship because everyone else seems to be in the same room. The good news is that most of what makes the season feel lonely can be planned for: when you’ll talk, what you’ll send, and what the two of you will do together even with an ocean or a few states in between.

This guide covers the whole season, from Halloween through New Year’s. If you’ll be together for part of it, pair it with our reunion checklist.

Have the holiday planning call now

Don’t wait until December. Pick an evening in October and talk through the season with a calendar open. Cover:

Where each of you will be. Dates, cities, and whose house. Holiday travel changes your time zone, your privacy, and your wifi.
Whether a visit is possible. If it is, book early. If it isn’t, say so now, so neither of you spends November quietly hoping.
Which days matter most. For one of you it might be Christmas morning; for the other, New Year’s Eve at midnight. Rank them, then protect the top two.
What “together” looks like on those days. A two-hour video call? A 10-minute check-in between family events? Be specific.
Gift plans. Budget, whether you’re mailing physical gifts, and the date you’ll exchange them.

Try this wording:

“I want to plan the holidays so we’re not both guessing. Which day would you be most sad to spend without talking?”

Plan your calls around family time, not against it

The most common holiday argument in long-distance relationships isn’t about gifts. It’s about one person being busy with family while the other waits for a call that keeps getting pushed back.

Fix it by treating calls like any other holiday plan:

Schedule a short check-in and a longer call. A five-minute “Merry Christmas, I’m thinking about you” in the morning, and a proper call once the dishes are done.
Pick times that work for the busier person. Whoever is surrounded by family has less control. Let them choose the window, and let the other person plan their day around it.
Agree on a “running late” text. “Dinner’s running long, I’ll call by 9” is far better than silence.
Don’t expect your partner to disappear from their family. Twenty minutes of full attention beats two hours of distracted half-listening from a bedroom they keep getting called out of.

If you’re in different time zones, holidays make the math worse. Midnight on New Year’s Eve can land at breakfast for one of you. Plug both cities into our time zone calculator before you promise a time, and read our guide to long-distance call schedules if you’re more than a few hours apart.

Halloween: the easy warm-up

Halloween is low stakes, which makes it a good first run for the rest of the season.

Matching costumes, separate cities. Pick a pair costume (salt and pepper, a movie duo, two halves of a meme) and send each other photos from your nights out.
Horror movie night. Start the same film at the same time on a video call. Whoever screams first picks the next one.
Carve pumpkins together. Same design, or carve something for each other. Share the results before they go soft.
Swap a small care package. Their favourite candy from your city is cheap to mail and arrives before November. Our care package ideas cover what else to put in the box.

Thanksgiving and Friendsgiving

If you’re in the US, or one of you is, Thanksgiving is often the first holiday couples spend apart, since the short weekend makes travel expensive.

Share the table. Prop your phone up for 10 minutes during dinner so your partner can say hi to your family, if both of you want that. Ask first. Not everyone wants to be introduced over video with a mouthful of stuffing.
Cook the same dish. Pick one recipe and make it in both kitchens. Compare results on your evening call.
Write a gratitude list for each other. Five specific things you’re thankful for about them this year. Read them out loud, or send them as a letter so they have something to keep.
Plan the leftover call. Friday is often quieter than Thursday. A long, lazy call the day after might be the better date.

Christmas and winter holidays apart

This is the big one. Whatever you celebrate, the idea is the same: create a few shared moments that feel like yours, not just a video call squeezed between everyone else’s plans.

In the run-up

Advent countdown. Each person sends one small thing a day: a song, a photo, a memory, a two-line note. It builds anticipation for three weeks, not just one morning.
Decorate together. Put up your trees or decorations on the same evening over video. Send each other one ornament to hang.
Holiday movie marathon. Pick three films and watch one each weekend in December. For more ideas, see our virtual date night guide.
Holiday playlist. Build one together and play it while you wrap gifts.
Bake the same cookies. Frosting skill is optional; comparing disasters is the point.

On the day

Open gifts together. Agree on a time, even if it isn’t the morning. Opening gifts on video, one at a time, is one of the best long-distance holiday moments. Don’t let a delayed package ruin it: you can open whatever arrived and save the rest for later.
Send a letter to open on the morning. Tuck it in with the gift or mail it separately. A short open when letter (“Open on Christmas morning”) works well because it’s there before either of you is awake.
A quiet goodnight call. When the house finally settles, even 15 minutes can make the day feel shared.

If you’re with their family and they’re with yours

Expect to feel homesick for a person rather than a place. It helps to tell your partner one thing you noticed that you want to tell them about later. Save a list and go through it on your next call.

Gift timing: order earlier than you think

Holiday shipping is where long-distance plans quietly fall apart. A few rules:

Order in November. Carriers get slower in December, especially across borders. International parcels can take weeks and may be held at customs.
Ship to where they’ll be. If your partner is going home for the holidays, send it there, or have it arrive before they leave.
Agree on a budget. You don’t need to match gifts dollar for dollar, but you should both be comfortable. It’s fine to set a limit and stick to it.
Have a back-up. If a parcel is late, a digital gift or a printed photo of what’s coming keeps the moment intact.

Need ideas? Our long-distance gift guide covers sentimental, comfort, experience, and digital gifts. If you’ve left it late, a personalized map of your two cities downloads as a print-ready file instantly, so shipping delays can’t touch it. For something they can wear on the video call, make a one-of-one Long Distance FC jersey with their name and number, or browse tees and mugs in the Far Fox shop. Order physical gifts early.

New Year’s Eve across time zones

New Year’s is tricky when midnight doesn’t arrive at the same time for both of you.

Celebrate twice. Call at your midnight and again at theirs. Whoever hits midnight first gets to tell the other what the future looks like.
Share resolutions as a couple. One personal goal each, plus one for the relationship, such as “visit every three months” or “one proper date night a week.”
Write a year-in-review letter. Your favourite call, the best visit, the hardest week and how you got through it.
Put your next visit on the calendar. The best way to start a new year apart is knowing when it ends. Make a free reunion countdown together and share the link. You can see the days drop from wherever you are.

When the holidays just feel lonely

Some days will be hard no matter how well you plan. Watching friends and siblings with their partners, or getting asked “so when are they coming?” for the fifth time, can hurt.

A few things that help:

Tell your partner it’s hard. “I’m finding today really lonely” gives them a chance to show up for you. Saying nothing gives them nothing to respond to.
Don’t keep score. One of you might have a busier, happier holiday than the other. That’s not a sign something is wrong.
Make plans for yourself too. See friends, get outside, do something you enjoy. You don’t need to wait by the phone for the day to count.
Plan something for January. A visit, a trip, or even a date night. Having something to look forward to takes the edge off the post-holiday slump. If you’ve just said goodbye after a holiday visit, our guide to post-visit blues can help.

If arguments come up, as they sometimes do during stressful weeks, our guide to handling arguments in a long-distance relationship can help you cool things down before they spiral.

Small daily rituals for the whole season

Big holiday moments matter, but the days in between are where distance shows up most. A daily ritual keeps you connected when calls are short and schedules are packed. For a milestone outside the holiday season, explore our long-distance anniversary ideas.

Far Fox is built for this. Answer a daily question together, share a photo from your day, write each other a love letter, and look after your fox companion as a team, even on days when you only have a few minutes. It’s free and works on iOS, Android, and the web.